All Hallows een

Hello guys and girls. Me again.
Yes, it's getting to that time of year again. Time for ghosties, ghoolies and kids in cheap masks begging for sweets. Ahh it is my favourite time of year. Not that I like kids in cheap masks begging for sweets particularly, in fact I'm one of those people who hides and doesn't answer the door to them.

Never the less it is my favourite time of year, with the leaves changing colour and the hot days petering out (finally). Plus it'll be the new cycle of the year ready to begin and I need a new start more than I need a hot dinner. Granted I say that every year but every time it's true. Luckily this year I've gone through quite a few revelations and changes that I think will put me in good stead.

Keeping this in mind I'm planning to do something this Samhain (that's Halloween to anyone who hasn't worked it out. Just saying.). In fact my costume's already made, it's a cream Roman costume that I just need to get the jewellery and sandals for. Granted not the best costume for late October, I'll be taking a so not historically accurate coat, but it does look great. Dressing up isn't the most religious practice but I find that mixing a little fun and faith keeps me interested. Why can't something you dedicate your life to enjoyable?

That's one of the reasons I don't get on with most mainstream religions. If I needed guilt thrust upon me I'd go to a diet club. No thank you. I'll keep to my song and celebration if you don't mind.

Anyway, I'm stayed far from the topic so back we go. Have a happy Halloween everyone, I know I'm going to try to. 

Cleansing: Mind, body and spirit.

Lately I've been clearing out my room. It was feeling stuffy and dusty, so I decided to make a dent in it. So two bin bags full of junk, a full vacuum and a bag full of cleaning wipes later it was looking much better. Feeling much better too (even though I was sneezing and coughing my way into an early night).
To finish it off today we bought some new curtains (a lovely deep purple) and mirrors for my wardrobe doors in the shape of butterflies.

Now it just needs time to settle in before Samhain (Halloween to anyone who isn't pagan or has never heard). I've never had chance to do this before a festival before as I've always had trouble with sorting. I'm a bit of a magpie and throwing things away just boggles my mind. As if it'll all be useful one day. Of course that's nonesence  but it doesn't stop me thinking it. Anyway, this year I'm finding everything a lot easier. I'm not clinging onto things as much and I'm feeling much better within myself in general. It helps that I'm getting back on my diet and detox. I'm feeling more active and awake again, though flushing the nasties from your system is not fun. I have a brighter and outlook on life and I'm a LOT more confident. The whole world doesn't seem as bad any-more.

Amazing what a clean out can do, isn't it? 

Picture posting , just this once.

This is my newest outfit. It's a two piece pinstripe suit with a pleather corset underneath. This is my first step into my new style. I hope it says good things about my future. It fit wonderfully (though it was tight, but when are corsets not?) and the jacket even needed to be pulled in which is a nice ego boost. As you can see I'm not the smallest girl and I've been trying really hard to diet. 1000kcal a day, lots of fruit and veg', trying to get all my vitamins and plenty of water. It's hard but I'm still going and hope to one day be a UK size 12. That's my goal (No crappy size 0 for me). It's been very hard and probably always will be as I hold weight terribly and have a naturally wide rib cage. Sucks huh?

Hope you're all having a good time of it in the moment. I hope to post again soon.

First freak out in a while, a personal record.

Yes everyone I used to have these little freak outs a lot. A lot! But lately, since Infest in fact, I've been pretty chilled out and zen about things. Taking life as it comes and knowing that with the right amount of work everything will be ok.
But it's the silliest things that get to you. For me it was charging my new mp3 player.

Let's get some history on this shall we. I've always had simple AA/AAA battery operated cheaper players. I've never been fussy, as long as it played music I was happy. Then technology developed and this wasn't good enough apparently. The world moved on without me and it all had to be built in and USB charged. I seriously dislike this idea as I'm well known for letting my player die half way through a 2 mile walk, that's why I always carry batteries. Of course you can't do that with a built in rechargeable battery. Now, I finally had to accept that I had to move with the times as my old player bit the proverbial dust. So I wanted something cute and special. Long story short, the battery in it would not charge no matter what I did. I wanted to send it back but in this current climate the company just wasn't safe. After weeks I got my money back but feeling thoroughly exasperated I developed a hatred and fear of these rechargeable things.

But here I am still without an mp3 of my own. I finally asked a good friend of mine for help. He's my tech' genius and I trust his word. So he found one that's great and in my price range. Brilliant, music finally. But my fear kicks in and he suggests a mains charger. Wonderful. That should work and is a lot more reliable than my silly lap top. So I wait for the charger and finally I can use my pretty little player.

I left it connected to the mains, as it were, all night... No charge. I leave it all day... No charge. And then the freak out hit. All the hassle of last time flooding back. In my attempt to crawl back from despair I hooked it up to my lap top to shove some music on it anyway. It told me it was charging.
"Suuuure you are. Just like last time." I sighed. Well, five hours later I unplug it as it tells me it is fully charged. And low and behold it was. End of freak out.

As I said, it's always the little things. Not my partner losing her job (Don't ask, long tearful explanations are not needed), not financial, social, or political instability, but an mp3 player.

So ladies and gentlemen, what little things make you panic?

lifestyling but not wearing...

Well guys and girls I'm thinking of giving up on lolita. I know, it sucks. But I've realised that I'm never going to be happy or comfortable when I have to spend so much and end up feeling empty. I still love the lifestyle and seeing others wearing lolita. In fact I'll always love lolita and hope I can help others with it, and even keep my decorating to a lolita aesthetic. But I think it's time for my personal fashion to move on.

I'm thinking vintage military or industrial. No neon dreadfalls or anything just the toned down, more classically goth version. It's easier for me. My mum would prefer it, and I can actually get hold of it in this country. Plus I look good... I never felt as if I looked quite right in lolita. Not that I regret having my wedding in lolita ( I looked a tad more goth than lolita anyway), I think we both looked great but I couldn't wear it every day.

I'm keeping the clothes I have of course, I may just mod them and hope to one day fit into my partner's gorgeous black dress. It was a good part of my life.

I'll always be a lolita at heart, but noone'll be able to tell.

Love you all.