Lately I've been clearing out my room. It was feeling stuffy and dusty, so I decided to make a dent in it. So two bin bags full of junk, a full vacuum and a bag full of cleaning wipes later it was looking much better. Feeling much better too (even though I was sneezing and coughing my way into an early night).
To finish it off today we bought some new curtains (a lovely deep purple) and mirrors for my wardrobe doors in the shape of butterflies.
Now it just needs time to settle in before Samhain (Halloween to anyone who isn't pagan or has never heard). I've never had chance to do this before a festival before as I've always had trouble with sorting. I'm a bit of a magpie and throwing things away just boggles my mind. As if it'll all be useful one day. Of course that's nonesence but it doesn't stop me thinking it. Anyway, this year I'm finding everything a lot easier. I'm not clinging onto things as much and I'm feeling much better within myself in general. It helps that I'm getting back on my diet and detox. I'm feeling more active and awake again, though flushing the nasties from your system is not fun. I have a brighter and outlook on life and I'm a LOT more confident. The whole world doesn't seem as bad any-more.
Amazing what a clean out can do, isn't it?
Monday, 27 September 2010
Friday, 24 September 2010
Picture posting , just this once.
This is my newest outfit. It's a two piece pinstripe suit with a pleather corset underneath. This is my first step into my new style. I hope it says good things about my future. It fit wonderfully (though it was tight, but when are corsets not?) and the jacket even needed to be pulled in which is a nice ego boost. As you can see I'm not the smallest girl and I've been trying really hard to diet. 1000kcal a day, lots of fruit and veg', trying to get all my vitamins and plenty of water. It's hard but I'm still going and hope to one day be a UK size 12. That's my goal (No crappy size 0 for me). It's been very hard and probably always will be as I hold weight terribly and have a naturally wide rib cage. Sucks huh?Hope you're all having a good time of it in the moment. I hope to post again soon.
Saturday, 18 September 2010
First freak out in a while, a personal record.
Yes everyone I used to have these little freak outs a lot. A lot! But lately, since Infest in fact, I've been pretty chilled out and zen about things. Taking life as it comes and knowing that with the right amount of work everything will be ok.
But it's the silliest things that get to you. For me it was charging my new mp3 player.
Let's get some history on this shall we. I've always had simple AA/AAA battery operated cheaper players. I've never been fussy, as long as it played music I was happy. Then technology developed and this wasn't good enough apparently. The world moved on without me and it all had to be built in and USB charged. I seriously dislike this idea as I'm well known for letting my player die half way through a 2 mile walk, that's why I always carry batteries. Of course you can't do that with a built in rechargeable battery. Now, I finally had to accept that I had to move with the times as my old player bit the proverbial dust. So I wanted something cute and special. Long story short, the battery in it would not charge no matter what I did. I wanted to send it back but in this current climate the company just wasn't safe. After weeks I got my money back but feeling thoroughly exasperated I developed a hatred and fear of these rechargeable things.
But here I am still without an mp3 of my own. I finally asked a good friend of mine for help. He's my tech' genius and I trust his word. So he found one that's great and in my price range. Brilliant, music finally. But my fear kicks in and he suggests a mains charger. Wonderful. That should work and is a lot more reliable than my silly lap top. So I wait for the charger and finally I can use my pretty little player.
I left it connected to the mains, as it were, all night... No charge. I leave it all day... No charge. And then the freak out hit. All the hassle of last time flooding back. In my attempt to crawl back from despair I hooked it up to my lap top to shove some music on it anyway. It told me it was charging.
"Suuuure you are. Just like last time." I sighed. Well, five hours later I unplug it as it tells me it is fully charged. And low and behold it was. End of freak out.
As I said, it's always the little things. Not my partner losing her job (Don't ask, long tearful explanations are not needed), not financial, social, or political instability, but an mp3 player.
So ladies and gentlemen, what little things make you panic?
But it's the silliest things that get to you. For me it was charging my new mp3 player.
Let's get some history on this shall we. I've always had simple AA/AAA battery operated cheaper players. I've never been fussy, as long as it played music I was happy. Then technology developed and this wasn't good enough apparently. The world moved on without me and it all had to be built in and USB charged. I seriously dislike this idea as I'm well known for letting my player die half way through a 2 mile walk, that's why I always carry batteries. Of course you can't do that with a built in rechargeable battery. Now, I finally had to accept that I had to move with the times as my old player bit the proverbial dust. So I wanted something cute and special. Long story short, the battery in it would not charge no matter what I did. I wanted to send it back but in this current climate the company just wasn't safe. After weeks I got my money back but feeling thoroughly exasperated I developed a hatred and fear of these rechargeable things.
But here I am still without an mp3 of my own. I finally asked a good friend of mine for help. He's my tech' genius and I trust his word. So he found one that's great and in my price range. Brilliant, music finally. But my fear kicks in and he suggests a mains charger. Wonderful. That should work and is a lot more reliable than my silly lap top. So I wait for the charger and finally I can use my pretty little player.
I left it connected to the mains, as it were, all night... No charge. I leave it all day... No charge. And then the freak out hit. All the hassle of last time flooding back. In my attempt to crawl back from despair I hooked it up to my lap top to shove some music on it anyway. It told me it was charging.
"Suuuure you are. Just like last time." I sighed. Well, five hours later I unplug it as it tells me it is fully charged. And low and behold it was. End of freak out.
As I said, it's always the little things. Not my partner losing her job (Don't ask, long tearful explanations are not needed), not financial, social, or political instability, but an mp3 player.
So ladies and gentlemen, what little things make you panic?
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
lifestyling but not wearing...
Well guys and girls I'm thinking of giving up on lolita. I know, it sucks. But I've realised that I'm never going to be happy or comfortable when I have to spend so much and end up feeling empty. I still love the lifestyle and seeing others wearing lolita. In fact I'll always love lolita and hope I can help others with it, and even keep my decorating to a lolita aesthetic. But I think it's time for my personal fashion to move on.
I'm thinking vintage military or industrial. No neon dreadfalls or anything just the toned down, more classically goth version. It's easier for me. My mum would prefer it, and I can actually get hold of it in this country. Plus I look good... I never felt as if I looked quite right in lolita. Not that I regret having my wedding in lolita ( I looked a tad more goth than lolita anyway), I think we both looked great but I couldn't wear it every day.
I'm keeping the clothes I have of course, I may just mod them and hope to one day fit into my partner's gorgeous black dress. It was a good part of my life.
I'll always be a lolita at heart, but noone'll be able to tell.
Love you all.
I'm thinking vintage military or industrial. No neon dreadfalls or anything just the toned down, more classically goth version. It's easier for me. My mum would prefer it, and I can actually get hold of it in this country. Plus I look good... I never felt as if I looked quite right in lolita. Not that I regret having my wedding in lolita ( I looked a tad more goth than lolita anyway), I think we both looked great but I couldn't wear it every day.
I'm keeping the clothes I have of course, I may just mod them and hope to one day fit into my partner's gorgeous black dress. It was a good part of my life.
I'll always be a lolita at heart, but noone'll be able to tell.
Love you all.
Tuesday, 31 August 2010
Infest 2010- (My week in heaven)
Let's start from the start guys and girls of the internet world.
Day 1-
Coaches from Telford are gorgeous, all leather seating and air conditioning. So an hour on there catching up with Marky and getting all excited and we were ready for the next transfer for the long haul, yes we were. We could never have been prepared for that bit. Worst bit of the weekend warning. We fried on that coach. Seriously, it was unbearable as we all melted into pools of gook in our seats. And then it happened, the smell. It's hard to describe the smell that suddenly began rising. Something a little like rotten fish, a year old septic tank, that old sweaty sock under your bed and a sewage treatment plant all blended together. Sad thing is I'm not exaggerating. They hadn't cleaned out the toilet tank the night before so every time it flushed we all almost suffocated.
Tip for dealing with bad smells (Yes I do handy tips too kids) if you breath through your mouth while chewing a fruitella it nullifies smells. I think this tip saved our lives.
We were meant to meed a girl called Emma at Brum but she was late (dodged a bullet there) and got a lift from a friend instead. We met her later when her and Marky were handing out wristbands and she was really nice.
Anyway, with the trip finally over we departed to the hotel. The new beehive inn. It was very oldy worldy with lots of wooden panelling and old paintings. It had a really nice feel to it and our room was really nice. Me and Amy got the double bed and Marky got to choose one of the two single beds. Once we got settled in we ordered pizza for dinner, yum. I've never had domino's pizza before and it was great. So with us all very full, we got changed and headed out to the venue. It was quiet with a few people sitting around next to the burger vans. I'll tell you about those later. Marky got his pass and we got our wristbands and we chilled out. The bar was cosy and they had decent music playing quietly. We people watched and wished for half of the people's outfits and generally rested after the coach from hell. The first night De/vision was on, (the band I was most excited about) and they were great. I've never heard a band that was as good live as on their CD's. It blew my mind completely and Amy ran over to buy their 'best of' CD.
Back to the hotel after that for a good night's sleep.
Day 2-
Breakfast at 8am. So I dragged myself out of bed and we plodded down. Marky had a full breakfast but I kept to the toast and Amy had tea. I don't know how to get across how good breakfast actually was. We were in a room with marble tables and comfy chairs with everything we could want for breakfast at out beck and call. It was a great start to a great day.
After getting a little dressed up we headed out, had a few doughnuts and some chips at the vans and got ready for the night. I said I'd talk about the vans didn't I? Well, they look like your typical festival cheapo food suppliers but it was actually great. They were very clean and efficient and the food was great. None of it was greasy and it all had much better quality ingredients than I expected. They were so good that we decided to have dinner there each night instead of ordering out.
Parralox were going to be the first band we were all going to head over and see but the lead singer got taken into A and E for a chest infection. More about them later :)
Anyway, next was Agonize. Well, earlier in the night I got a text from Marky while he was working about their … performance. I'll post it here : “Tip for Agonize. Don't got too close.. I'm currently watching them load a fake penis up with mayonnaise o.O”
I still can't help but giggle. And yes boys and girls that was for exactly what you think it was for . The audience didn't know where to jump, though there was one guy who got a little too into that bit XD
After that we ran off to look at shiny things. So... many... shiny things. And an outfit that though I couldn't justify buying at £130 I still remember and will own one day. Got to love the pinstripes.
Oh, I haven't mentioned yet that we met new friends. Ryan and Daz. They're from Ireland and they're really nice. The only shame is it'll probably be next year before we see them again, darn that large patch of water called the sea!
After a break we headed back for Rotersand, making Marky very happy. He headed up to the front but me and Amy hung back and listened from afar. I'm such a baby I get tired at about 10pm lol.
Did I mention that Marky got a tad tipsy that night lol.
With everyone tired after a really good night we headed back to the hotel.
Day 3-
My personal favourite day. After breakfast we chilled out for a bit (Marky nursing a small hangover) and got dressed up. Actually made an effort with my green make up, floofy hair and Marky's goggles. Amy was in denim and velvet which looked great. After lunch at the burger vans Mark went off to work and we went inside to look at more prettys. Then Parralox came on and I found my new fav band. They actually took my breath away and sounded perfect even with the lead singer (Amii) still suffering with her chest infection. As soon as they were done we ran off to buy their newest album and single, and got a little pack of sweets free. We told Marky to tell them if he saw them that they were really good. He did and I now own a picture of the lead singer just for me. I was so amazingly happy.
Next we went off to buy my new goggles (black with metal spikes and circuit board lenses), but the mask Amy wanted was gone :( So we got the very last infest jumper instead. It's soft and warm ^_^
Then we listened to the start of Concrete Lung, a tad heavy for me to be honest but the instrumentation was good, then off to meet Marky at the end of his shift. We stood outside the building while he finished up and you'll never guess who was outside, six feet away from me, eating their lunch. Parralox. I was completely star struck but out of respect I didn't go over and disturb them. After that it was dinner and more browsing of shinys even though they were starting to pack everything away. Ayria was on after that and I found her a little out of time but the music was great so it was ok. Then we got ready for Nachtmahr, but one of the security guards moved us on (They're the uni security and the one who moved us is known to be a twat. We complained about him later as the only difference between me and Amy and the women he let into out place is we are a lesbian couple. Karma'll sort it.)
Either way Marky got to go to the front, even if he did have to ninja dodge a woman elbow swinging as she danced, and had a blast. Me and Amy listened from one of the side tables, loving the bands sense of hummer and rants between songs. They're Austrian not German and don't you forget it booing man. ^_^
With that we headed out and said a sad goodbye to our new friends. Then back to the hotel to chat until 2:30 in the morning about so much.
Day 4-
Our last breakfast and a goodbye and a thank you for the great stay. Some still not so good coach rides and home for sandwiches. Hearts getting ready to do it all again next year.
Day 1-
Coaches from Telford are gorgeous, all leather seating and air conditioning. So an hour on there catching up with Marky and getting all excited and we were ready for the next transfer for the long haul, yes we were. We could never have been prepared for that bit. Worst bit of the weekend warning. We fried on that coach. Seriously, it was unbearable as we all melted into pools of gook in our seats. And then it happened, the smell. It's hard to describe the smell that suddenly began rising. Something a little like rotten fish, a year old septic tank, that old sweaty sock under your bed and a sewage treatment plant all blended together. Sad thing is I'm not exaggerating. They hadn't cleaned out the toilet tank the night before so every time it flushed we all almost suffocated.
Tip for dealing with bad smells (Yes I do handy tips too kids) if you breath through your mouth while chewing a fruitella it nullifies smells. I think this tip saved our lives.
We were meant to meed a girl called Emma at Brum but she was late (dodged a bullet there) and got a lift from a friend instead. We met her later when her and Marky were handing out wristbands and she was really nice.
Anyway, with the trip finally over we departed to the hotel. The new beehive inn. It was very oldy worldy with lots of wooden panelling and old paintings. It had a really nice feel to it and our room was really nice. Me and Amy got the double bed and Marky got to choose one of the two single beds. Once we got settled in we ordered pizza for dinner, yum. I've never had domino's pizza before and it was great. So with us all very full, we got changed and headed out to the venue. It was quiet with a few people sitting around next to the burger vans. I'll tell you about those later. Marky got his pass and we got our wristbands and we chilled out. The bar was cosy and they had decent music playing quietly. We people watched and wished for half of the people's outfits and generally rested after the coach from hell. The first night De/vision was on, (the band I was most excited about) and they were great. I've never heard a band that was as good live as on their CD's. It blew my mind completely and Amy ran over to buy their 'best of' CD.
Back to the hotel after that for a good night's sleep.
Day 2-
Breakfast at 8am. So I dragged myself out of bed and we plodded down. Marky had a full breakfast but I kept to the toast and Amy had tea. I don't know how to get across how good breakfast actually was. We were in a room with marble tables and comfy chairs with everything we could want for breakfast at out beck and call. It was a great start to a great day.
After getting a little dressed up we headed out, had a few doughnuts and some chips at the vans and got ready for the night. I said I'd talk about the vans didn't I? Well, they look like your typical festival cheapo food suppliers but it was actually great. They were very clean and efficient and the food was great. None of it was greasy and it all had much better quality ingredients than I expected. They were so good that we decided to have dinner there each night instead of ordering out.
Parralox were going to be the first band we were all going to head over and see but the lead singer got taken into A and E for a chest infection. More about them later :)
Anyway, next was Agonize. Well, earlier in the night I got a text from Marky while he was working about their … performance. I'll post it here : “Tip for Agonize. Don't got too close.. I'm currently watching them load a fake penis up with mayonnaise o.O”
I still can't help but giggle. And yes boys and girls that was for exactly what you think it was for . The audience didn't know where to jump, though there was one guy who got a little too into that bit XD
After that we ran off to look at shiny things. So... many... shiny things. And an outfit that though I couldn't justify buying at £130 I still remember and will own one day. Got to love the pinstripes.
Oh, I haven't mentioned yet that we met new friends. Ryan and Daz. They're from Ireland and they're really nice. The only shame is it'll probably be next year before we see them again, darn that large patch of water called the sea!
After a break we headed back for Rotersand, making Marky very happy. He headed up to the front but me and Amy hung back and listened from afar. I'm such a baby I get tired at about 10pm lol.
Did I mention that Marky got a tad tipsy that night lol.
With everyone tired after a really good night we headed back to the hotel.
Day 3-
My personal favourite day. After breakfast we chilled out for a bit (Marky nursing a small hangover) and got dressed up. Actually made an effort with my green make up, floofy hair and Marky's goggles. Amy was in denim and velvet which looked great. After lunch at the burger vans Mark went off to work and we went inside to look at more prettys. Then Parralox came on and I found my new fav band. They actually took my breath away and sounded perfect even with the lead singer (Amii) still suffering with her chest infection. As soon as they were done we ran off to buy their newest album and single, and got a little pack of sweets free. We told Marky to tell them if he saw them that they were really good. He did and I now own a picture of the lead singer just for me. I was so amazingly happy.
Next we went off to buy my new goggles (black with metal spikes and circuit board lenses), but the mask Amy wanted was gone :( So we got the very last infest jumper instead. It's soft and warm ^_^
Then we listened to the start of Concrete Lung, a tad heavy for me to be honest but the instrumentation was good, then off to meet Marky at the end of his shift. We stood outside the building while he finished up and you'll never guess who was outside, six feet away from me, eating their lunch. Parralox. I was completely star struck but out of respect I didn't go over and disturb them. After that it was dinner and more browsing of shinys even though they were starting to pack everything away. Ayria was on after that and I found her a little out of time but the music was great so it was ok. Then we got ready for Nachtmahr, but one of the security guards moved us on (They're the uni security and the one who moved us is known to be a twat. We complained about him later as the only difference between me and Amy and the women he let into out place is we are a lesbian couple. Karma'll sort it.)
Either way Marky got to go to the front, even if he did have to ninja dodge a woman elbow swinging as she danced, and had a blast. Me and Amy listened from one of the side tables, loving the bands sense of hummer and rants between songs. They're Austrian not German and don't you forget it booing man. ^_^
With that we headed out and said a sad goodbye to our new friends. Then back to the hotel to chat until 2:30 in the morning about so much.
Day 4-
Our last breakfast and a goodbye and a thank you for the great stay. Some still not so good coach rides and home for sandwiches. Hearts getting ready to do it all again next year.
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